Haiku Hary

Joined:01/29/2009

Age:67

Location:Harryland

Profile: I am Haiku Harry. You will all bow to my haiku prowess. I also enjoy potato chips, surfing magazines, and OTC medications. I also have an addiction to tie-dying all my clothing, even my work clothes. Bow to me!

Website:Whenceforth


Haiku Hary's Haiku:
Average Vote Total Votes Haiku Date Posted
4.43 14 My elbows are chapped.
How the hell does that happen?
Lips, sure, but elbows!!!???
                             Comments(1)
02/04/2009
4.56 16 Haiku Harry's here
He's Supreme Haiku Master
Bow in awed silence

                             Comments(0)
02/04/2009
5.54 13 To my neighbor, Mike:
If you're reading this, Up Yours!
You bitter old crank.
                             Comments(0)
02/04/2009
5.50 18 I ponder the frost
Frozen in delicate beauty
My winter mistress
                             Comments(0)
02/04/2009
4.31 13 Anything to drink?
$5.16 at the window.
Thank you, drive thru please
                             Comments(0)
02/04/2009
4.50 18 O sweet opium
You take me to far off lands
Without leaving home.
                             Comments(0)
02/04/2009
5.00 18 Beautiful children
I love to hear them laughing
Warms my heart and soul
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
3.57 14 The roach coach is here
Every day at ten o'clock
Their tater tots rule.
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
4.67 9 Forbidden darkness
Warm flesh pressed against my own
Erotic passion
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
4.12 17 I have to move bowels
But we only have two stalls
And they're both taken.
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
4.38 13 The distant thunder
Draws ever closer by night
Wake me from my dreams
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
4.56 16 "I'm from Uniforce!
Show me to my work station!"
"Ah, you must be Josh."
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
6.21 14 Yo soy un perro
Tengo flan en mi culo
Ay! Que lastima!
                             Comments(1)
02/05/2009
4.90 10 My esophagus
Unhinged like mating badgers
Moon deposits reign.
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
4.32 19 Black paint on black tile
Black on the blackest blackness
Black begets black black.
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
3.37 19 Curious wonder
Question that torments my mind
Do owls get boogers?
                             Comments(0)
02/05/2009
5.43 21 She whispers my name
Caresses my arm softly
Let me sleep, you skank!
                             Comments(1)
02/05/2009
3.60 5 Me gusta tacos
Y me gusta burritos
Si, yo soy gordo
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
5.21 14 It's Beard Haiku Day!
Everyone write a haiku
That talks about beards
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
4.31 13 Beards are for winners
All great men in history
Had a beard some time
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
3.80 15 Hey baby, come here
I'll tickle your lady parts
With my bushy beard
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
4.60 20 Don't mean to be rude
I'm sick of saying "Bless you"
You sneeze ALL the time
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
6.00 11 On his face a beard
Badge of handsome distinction
Such poise, and charming
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
5.50 12 My beard is my life
Without it I will wither
Into a dead shell
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
4.33 15 Thou hast beard, thy man!
Reckoneth you thy answers
To all conundrums?
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
4.75 8 Bearded woman, no!
You must shave your face at once
Beards are just for men.
                             Comments(0)
02/10/2009
6.50 10 Babies can't grow beards
What sadness they must endure
Until old enough
                             Comments(1)
02/10/2009
5.13 8 Cheese biscuit wafers
Does such a product exist?
They sure do sound good!
                             Comments(0)
02/13/2009
5.21 14 To all those voting
Lighten up a little bit
My haikus are great!
                             Comments(0)
02/13/2009
8.00 6 Sticks in the river
Fallen remnants from the trees
Water guides their path
                             Comments(0)
02/13/2009
6.62 13 Tootsie Roll baby
Why you be jiving my thang?
Big Poppa don't dig
    Bronze Trophy Winner for February 2009                    Comments(0)
02/23/2009
4.44 16 A bee stung my butt
Now I can't even sit down
Or let you spank me
                             Comments(2)
02/23/2009
3.95 19 At nighttime, a star
Twinkling bright for all to see
I tinkle on trees
                             Comments(0)
03/03/2009
4.10 10 Halibut tacos
A new frontier in good taste
Pass the sauce, bebeh!
                             Comments(0)
03/03/2009
4.18 17 Smoky co-worker
Face like The Exorcist girl
After she's possessed
                             Comments(1)
03/03/2009
2.47 19 Word to yo mutha
Chillin' like a va-zillain
West side, beyotches!
                             Comments(1)
03/06/2009
2.63 16 My baby mama
Why you gots to be frontin'
Like the bits you is
                             Comments(0)
03/06/2009
2.58 19 Coprophiliacs
Think fecal matter's sexy
How weird can you get?
                             Comments(0)
03/06/2009
2.14 21 Word to yo mutha
Chillin' like a vi-zillain
West side, beyotches!
                             Comments(0)
03/06/2009
4.63 16 There's fuzz on my words
I have a hairy haiku
Stop looking at it!
                             Comments(1)
03/06/2009
4.73 15 Wings of an eagle
Soaring with grace and beauty
Carried by the wind
                             Comments(0)
03/10/2009
2.41 27 Worst feeling ever
To have any itchy butthole
While on a first date
                             Comments(2)
03/10/2009
5.75 8 I need a shower
I smell of sweat, dirt, syrup
And Irishmen's blood
                             Comments(0)
03/10/2009
4.04 23 Haiku schmaiku
Won't follow regular format
On this one
                             Comments(0)
03/10/2009
3.56 27 State of Florida
Like America's Penis
Whizzin' on Cuba
                             Comments(0)
03/10/2009
2.09 34 Golf balls, tennis balls
It seems balls are everywhere
Mine are in your mouth
                             Comments(0)
03/11/2009
3.13 23 Watching hamsters mate
Bruce gently mounts Claudia
They'll have cute babies.
                             Comments(0)
03/11/2009
4.81 16 Punk rock, green hair-do
Does carpet match the curtains?
I really hope not.
                             Comments(0)
03/11/2009
3.86 22 Oh crap! I missed lunch!
I'm busy writing haikus
Instead of eating.
                             Comments(0)
03/11/2009
2.95 20 Rock on the sea floor
Been there for millions of years
Covered in whale poop
                             Comments(1)
03/11/2009
5.24 21 Life without iPods
An exercise in madness
Music, my saviour!
                             Comments(0)
04/14/2009
2.61 23 My job is stupid
And I'm pretty sure my boss
Eats his pubic hairs
                             Comments(0)
04/14/2009
2.05 21 Tessapina foll
Brudrix hanthem so lahpteez
Yoq poy kessen wert.
                             Comments(0)
05/29/2009
2.45 47 Worst part of aging
The way ball sac keeps sagging
Damn you, gravity!
                             Comments(0)
05/29/2009
1.80 46 Farting in public
Is now deemed acceptable
Because I said so.
                             Comments(0)
05/29/2009
3.72 29 Wide-eyed gazelle leaps
Lives for thrill of the chase
Although it could die
                             Comments(0)
05/29/2009
2.34 41 Let's have sex tonight
I'll wear that cologne you like
Eau de lumberjack
                             Comments(1)
05/29/2009
3.00 37 Stomach is in pain
Waiting on an empty stall
I'm prairie-doggin'
                             Comments(0)
06/02/2009
2.54 52 Hey, lame ass voters
I can click a button too
You're all getting 1's!
                             Comments(0)
06/02/2009
2.44 36 Smoke signals ahead
Wary wounded warriors?
Or stoned Italians?
    Bronze Trophy Winner for December 2009                    Comments(0)
12/28/2009
2.34 32 OK, I admit
I'm obsessed with Stevie Nicks
Don't judge me, Pablo.
                             Comments(0)
12/28/2009
3.49 37 Hope my son's not gay
I will love him regardless
But I want grandkids
                             Comments(1)
12/28/2009
2.20 35 A swan migration
Where warmer climates await
Bigga chigga choo!
                             Comments(1)
12/28/2009
3.21 38 Whales do in fact fart
They do not just have blowholes
On top of their heads
                             Comments(0)
12/28/2009
3.32 28 Everything bagels
Can be a bit much sometimes
Flavors don't mix well
  Silver Trophy Winner for December 2009                      Comments(0)
12/28/2009